It’s not uncommon to experience feelings of not being good enough, which can be challenging and may make you feel vulnerable. However, it is very helpful to know support is available to help you find some relief and provide the opportunity to move forward more positively.
Building your Self-Worth is an ‘inside job’ that you can take charge of. Here are some thoughts and suggestions to assist you in staying on top of your feelings of self-worth:
Remember, you are in charge!
Bear in mind that sometimes you need to DO things in order to start feeling better. This means at first you might need to act on things that don’t feel easy or comfortable, but it’s important to trust that this is the most critical part of change – the doing bit. This is an opportunity – this puts you in charge of yourself – use this newfound power for good!
Watch your language
We can be negative (limiting) or positive (powerful) in the way we speak. For example, you can be negative and say “I can’t handle this” or be positive and say “this situation is challenging and different, but I can handle it”. Our brains can be lazy and they tend to believe whatever we keep telling them. So, choose “I will” and “I can” instead of “I won’t” or “I can’t”.
Choose your attitude
This really is all about choosing a different way to look at the same experience. Try to be accepting of the things that we can’t change. By accepting, rather than fighting against a situation, we can reduce the struggle and make more room for other new possibilities. This provides room to make decisions about who we want to be in this moment.
Avoid letting your feelings be your new boss
During difficult times when we ‘feel’ bad, we often behave badly too. However, we always have choices. Even when we feel sad or angry, we can pause and decide to do things differently. Right now - you might be thinking, why get out of bed in the morning? It might be easier to stay there with your difficult feelings. But this often leads to feeling worse. Manage those feelings by getting up and behaving more positively. Get up, get moving, get into action and better feelings tend to follow. The people around us will like it better too!
Experience shows getting organised gives you purpose and a sense of achievement, and that achievement increases our feelings of worth. A schedule and to-do list help you to get things done and creates an opportunity for success each day - even small wins boost positive feelings. So get yourself a big piece of paper and start planning.
Look after yourself
Take some time to reflect on your diet, sleep, exercise and leisure time. As repetitive and boring as this message may appear on the surface, its importance cannot be underestimated. Our physical well-being determines our emotional well-being. Our self-worth comes from our emotional wellbeing. Taking time for yourself has never been more important.
Focus on this moment
It is easy to look back and wish for those times again – but this may leave us feeling angry, regretful and frustrated. We can also focus on the future, but this too can leave us feeling stressed, impatient and angry. Alternatively, by focusing on this moment, we can understand that this situation, like everything, will pass too.
Be nice to yourself and others
This is the best opportunity we will have to treat ourselves and strangers like we would a good friend – with kindness, acceptance and forgiveness.
As we journey through these challenging times, please reach out for support and connection amongst your community or if you’d like further support from Relationships Australia WA you can call us on 1300 364 277.
Our Education team are continuing to facilitate Relationship Australia WA’s seminars, workshops and courses face-to-face and online.
If you’d like to register your interest in attending a course on Self-Worth or any of our other courses, please email email@example.com or call 6164 0200.