On the eleventh day of the 16 Days in WA campaign the City of Swan community came together for the eleventh Midland March that Matters.
Trailblazed by our very own Kristy Darnborough in her capacity as Chairperson of the Swan Family and Domestic Violence Network that run the event, this marked her last year leading the event – a legacy she said, that will continue.
“It always gives me so much hope to see our community come together to walk alongside each other, giving the strong message that there is no excuse for abuse,” she said.
“I really hope one day we won’t need to march and that all women and children will be safe and thriving.”
Mayor for the City of Swan Tanya Richardson acknowledged Kristy’s unwavering leadership in the Family and Domestic Violence (FDV) space for over a decade.
“You have given so much support, and you drive this every single year!”
The day was opened by Noongar Elder Aunty Di Ryder who spoke about the impacts of FDV and introduced the first of three victim-survivors.
Hearing about his lived experience set the tone for the day as he guided the audience through a visualisation of a child in an FDV household.
He guided the audience out of the visualisation with a question “what would that child look like?” and as we all opened our eyes he said, “I was that child!”
“Do you think I am weak for sharing that?” he asked the men in the audience.
“There is strength in vulnerability.”
“Strength really comes from admitting your issues, acknowledging your past, acknowledging what you’ve been through and being able to talk about it.”
“Being able to share it with those closest to you – after all, real men would do anything for their family right?”
The rhetorical question hung in the air and the Mayor approached the lectern armed with a message to reinforce what FDV looks like.
“It’s something against a loved one or someone you’re in a relationship with,” she said.
“What does that look like?”
“Sometimes we hear about the worst cases of it, but it always stems from somewhere.”
“It starts small, and it grows, or it can be big and come out fast and violent.”
“It’s understanding those small things can lead to big things.”
The Police Pipe Band opened the March as the crowd wove through Juniper Gardens past T-shirt messages from survivors strung in a clothesline fashion.
Passersby and people on the road exchanged waves and words of solidarity with the 800 strong parade of government officials, agencies, service providers, survivors, family members, and community.
Returning to the heart of the event the crowd settled under the marquee to hear more from survivors and service providers.
The Hon. Sabine Winton MLA Minister for Prevention of Family and Domestic Violence applauded the ‘courage and bravery’ of all victim-survivors – shining a light on the importance of sharing their stories.
“Those with lived experience who speak out, they do so not because they have a desire to share their story but because they have a desire to change the story for everyone else.”
“We are bringing family and domestic violence out into the open, out from the shadows and we must continue to build the momentum.”
“My daughters are 19, 22 and 28. And I can tell you when I was 19, 22 and 28 I had no visibility of family and domestic violence like my daughters do now – that’s a good thing”
“The more we shine a light on it – the more we say enough is enough, and the more we say to those people out there that are suffering that ‘you are seen, you will be heard, and you are believed’ the better we will be.”
“That’s what this is about – to say to people that are suffering from family and domestic violence that ‘you will not walk alone, you will not be ashamed, you need to come out and there are hands to walk beside you.”
In closing she reminded everyone of the part each of us play.
"We acknowledge and celebrate the extraordinary stories each and every day of lives changed, lives saved and lives healed by the really important work of all of those services and frontline workers”
“One interaction that can change the trajectory of someone’s life – don’t underestimate the power that each of us have in playing our part”
Joy and celebration was injected into the day with a performance of Noongar song by the Moorditj Maaman Men’s Group – including their Djiripin (Happy) song.
The final survivor message shared by the Sister Project reinforced the damage that speaking ‘behind hands in hushed voices’ can do – something she experienced from her neighbours.
“This is a You – Me problem, and this is a You – Me solution.”
“All of us individuals make up the whole of us, altogether.”
“We all have choices – perpetrators, victims, survivors, neighbours, family members, teachers, friends, men, women, humans.”
“To our detriment, we can continue to look to solve this problem outside and ignore the problem that is inside.”
“What are we choosing to accept?”
“Perpetrators are not born perpetrators – they’re made. Likewise, victims are not born victims – they’re made. Survivors, you’re not born – you are made. Thrivers, you’re not born – you are made – you made yourself!”
“When you hear about someone perpetrating violence or showing red flags, do you talk about it in hushed tones behind your hand and think ‘don’t get involved, it’s not my problem’?”
“It is your problem – it is all of our problems.”
From modest beginnings as a stall at Midland Gate shopping centre in 2012, this annual event has grown into one of Western Australia’s most prominent domestic violence awareness initiatives.
Though this is Kristy’s last year leading the charge, the Swan Family and Domestic Violence Network’s years of shared commitment and determination to deliver a powerful message: there is ‘no excuse for abuse’ has paved a legacy for the community to continue.